Kate Upton Plays Hoochie Nun in ‘Stooges’ Flick

ACTRESS KATE UPTON, AS 'SISTER BERNICE,' IN BARELY-THERE 'NUNKINI'

I’m not Catholic. But I can certainly understand why my Catholic friends are offended by the new “Three Stooges” movie, helmed by the irreverent Farrelly Brothers, released by Twentieth Century Fox.

The film would have been fine had Peter and Bobby Farrelly stuck to the slapstick comedy for which Moe, Larry and Curly are beloved by Stooges fans. But they had to ruin it, had to court controversy, by their sacrilegious portrayal of a Catholic nun as some sort of hoochie.

Cast as “Sister Bernice,” Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton wears a nun’s veil, an oversized rosary and a decidedly undersized, barely-there ‘nunkini.’ The newby actress might have known better than to insult the religious faith of 68.5 million Americans had she not dropped out of 10th grade at Holy Trinity Episcopal Academy in Melbourne, Fla.

Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League, provided a useful history lesson for the 19-year-old tart.

“In the 1950s,” he recalled, “Hollywood generally avoided crude fare and was respectful of religion. Today, it specializes in crudity and trashes Christianity, especially Catholicism.”

Indeed, Tinseltown’s portrayal of nuns has gone from Jennifer Jones, in “The Song of Bernadette,” and Julie Andrews, in “The Sound of Music,” to Lindsay Lohan, as a gun-licking nun in the Robert Rodriguez flick “Machete,” and, now, Upton, as a skanky nun in “Three Stooges.”

What particularly galls is that studio execs at Twentieth Century Fox think the sacrilegious portrayal of a nun is some great big joke.

“As far as the nun attire,” one Fox exec told The Hollywood Reporter, “I think we did the audience a favor by letting Kate Upton wear the nunkini rather than Larry David,” who (cross)dressed up in nun’s garb to play Sister “Mary Mengele.”

Well, as Curly the Stooge might say, “Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.”

It’s soooo funny to mock the Catholic faith. Soooo clever to portray a nun attired in a skimpy outfit much far more likely to be seen in a strip club than on a beach (much less a church). Soooo hilarious to give another nun the same last name as the Nazi physician at Auschwitz known as the “Angel of Death.”

But imagine if the Farrelly brothers directed the same “Stooges” script, if Fox released the same film  with, say, homosexuals or blacks or Mexican illegals or Muslims as the butt of the film’s denigrating humor, rather than Catholics.

There would be such a hue and cry from the far-left, politically-correct Hollywood establishment that the fair-haired Farrelly boys might never work in that town again.

Hollywood is a God-forsaken wasteland. And it continues to rend America’s moral fabric.

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